i think i love him.
is it too soon? does it happen this way for everyone? my mom knew that dad was the only man she would marry, if she ever did. did she feel like this? i can't get him out of my head, i'm counting the days down until i get to see him again. my heart feels achy, i can't concentrate.
someone once said that you should fall in love whenever you can. so, with total and complete disregard for my heart, my memories of bad past relationships, i am going to do it.
jump in, feet first, fully clothed.
cannonball style.
Monday, March 3, 2008
heartbeats and staying true
so, last night, my boyfriend's ex girl sent me a message of FB. she basically told me that he's a jerkface, asshat, douche bag and everything that comes out of his mouth is a lie.
um.... duh? aren't all men like that? the thing that pisses me off the most about this chick is that she's behaving like a sore loser. not to mention the face that she asked him for a relationship, but she said that he said no and that he needed to work through some stuff. yes, sweetie, that was the guy's nice way of saying "i'm just not that in to you". get over it. so what if he started dating me a little bit after that? he obviously made a choice, and it wasn't you. grow up. put your big girl panties on and deal with it. i mean, if he's so bad, then wouldn't his family have mentioned that when i met all of them at New Years? wouldn't his army buddies tell me something? would he have given me a key to his apartment if he was going to be a huge jerkoff? i don't think so.
then she messaged me again this morning, telling me that he broke her heart, that she didn't want me to end up like her and that i probably don't even know about her. no shit. men and women get their hearts broken all the time. plus, all i have to know is that she's an ex. end of story. what else do i need to know?!?! crazy women like this make the rest of us women look so so bad.
I haven't written her back, although I dearly want to. Just to say "he and I are happy. I'm sorry he chose me over you, but he made the better choice. stop acting like we were competeing for him. I didn't even know you existed until now, and now I just think you are still in love with the guy who tried to, gently, let you down. You're the ex, that's all I need to know. I don't want to know anything else. If this relationship is going to go up in flames, then that's on me and him, and has nothing to do with you and your so-called warnings. Act like a real woman and move on. don't bring your bad shit into someone else's relationship. Now back off."
But I won't. because I am the better woman. Because crazy ex's never accomplish anything other than making themselves look like desperate idiots. and because she doesn't need any help being crazy. I've told the boy about this, just to let him know, and i just personally hope that she goes away soon!
um.... duh? aren't all men like that? the thing that pisses me off the most about this chick is that she's behaving like a sore loser. not to mention the face that she asked him for a relationship, but she said that he said no and that he needed to work through some stuff. yes, sweetie, that was the guy's nice way of saying "i'm just not that in to you". get over it. so what if he started dating me a little bit after that? he obviously made a choice, and it wasn't you. grow up. put your big girl panties on and deal with it. i mean, if he's so bad, then wouldn't his family have mentioned that when i met all of them at New Years? wouldn't his army buddies tell me something? would he have given me a key to his apartment if he was going to be a huge jerkoff? i don't think so.
then she messaged me again this morning, telling me that he broke her heart, that she didn't want me to end up like her and that i probably don't even know about her. no shit. men and women get their hearts broken all the time. plus, all i have to know is that she's an ex. end of story. what else do i need to know?!?! crazy women like this make the rest of us women look so so bad.
I haven't written her back, although I dearly want to. Just to say "he and I are happy. I'm sorry he chose me over you, but he made the better choice. stop acting like we were competeing for him. I didn't even know you existed until now, and now I just think you are still in love with the guy who tried to, gently, let you down. You're the ex, that's all I need to know. I don't want to know anything else. If this relationship is going to go up in flames, then that's on me and him, and has nothing to do with you and your so-called warnings. Act like a real woman and move on. don't bring your bad shit into someone else's relationship. Now back off."
But I won't. because I am the better woman. Because crazy ex's never accomplish anything other than making themselves look like desperate idiots. and because she doesn't need any help being crazy. I've told the boy about this, just to let him know, and i just personally hope that she goes away soon!
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
The Pirate's Gospel
I'll have you know, I'll have you know
That if I had one, I'd play this on piano
I'd sit it on my knee and count to
One, two, three
And if I had one of those other things, I'd put it in my mouth
And if I had some of those other things, you know, I'd put them into jars on the shelf
But I'll have you know, I'll have you know....
That if I had ten or twenty,
I'd have a choir of little children sing along
I'll have you know.... now she's pieces of string too small to use
That if I had one, I'd play this on piano
I'd sit it on my knee and count to
One, two, three
And if I had one of those other things, I'd put it in my mouth
And if I had some of those other things, you know, I'd put them into jars on the shelf
But I'll have you know, I'll have you know....
That if I had ten or twenty,
I'd have a choir of little children sing along
I'll have you know.... now she's pieces of string too small to use
Thursday, January 3, 2008
part of what all happened on New Years Eve!!!!
well, i had meant to post this much sooner, but so much as happened since new years. i'll start there though.
so i went over to jef'f's and met his brother, christian. he is quite a sweet guy, pretty handsome, in school. we three went to dinner and had a great time making fun of each other and bringing up jeff dunham. jeff: knock, knock. christain: who's there? me: me. i kill you.
then went went back to the house so i could get my truck, since i wouldn't be spending the night with the family. and jeff stood next to me, explaining the directions to his Aunts, with our faces close together, when he leaned in a kissed me. and it was wonderful. i had to stop myself from doing the Love Actually Happy Dance in the middle of the street and in front of him.
we went to the party, and i had such a great time. i met basically his entire family, aunts, uncles, cousins, and yes, his mother. she came up to me and said that she'd heard so much about me and is was great to finally meet me. which prompted the discussion about how exactly she found out about me (picked up jeff's cell when i was calling and when she passed it off to him, he acted all sheepish and walked away before answering the phone). she and i had a good time teasing him.
but then again, i got my own fair share of teasing that night over the story of how i met jeff. on the airplane. there was teasing about how he must have had a great pick up line, then i had to tell them that he met my family with red noses on and he still wanted my number. but then again, one of the uncles was telling me that i was just as pretty as i could be, everyone agreed and jeff blushed, then agreed.
carl, his favorite cousin, told me that i was, by far, the coolest girl that jeff has ever brought around.
then, later that night when all the cousins and jeff were pretty far gone, they started quoting Tombstone, and there i was, smiling cutely and they were all looking at me like i had no idea what was going on. Carl asked if i knew what was going on and i said "i would explain but... I think the strain would be more than he could bear..." complete with southern accent! they all laughed and then i got told that i was by far the awesomest girl, ever. then i got a high five and a hug. then Zack (the other cousin) kept asking jeff to make the eyes at him that he was using on me! lol
he kissed me, and held my hand, touched me, in front of everyone. i really like this guy. and his family was so nice to me too. he's already back in EP but calls and texts me. before he left he told me that he didn't want to leave and that he wished that i would be back in LC sooner. so do i. i really hope that this all goes somewhere... yay!
so i went over to jef'f's and met his brother, christian. he is quite a sweet guy, pretty handsome, in school. we three went to dinner and had a great time making fun of each other and bringing up jeff dunham. jeff: knock, knock. christain: who's there? me: me. i kill you.
then went went back to the house so i could get my truck, since i wouldn't be spending the night with the family. and jeff stood next to me, explaining the directions to his Aunts, with our faces close together, when he leaned in a kissed me. and it was wonderful. i had to stop myself from doing the Love Actually Happy Dance in the middle of the street and in front of him.
we went to the party, and i had such a great time. i met basically his entire family, aunts, uncles, cousins, and yes, his mother. she came up to me and said that she'd heard so much about me and is was great to finally meet me. which prompted the discussion about how exactly she found out about me (picked up jeff's cell when i was calling and when she passed it off to him, he acted all sheepish and walked away before answering the phone). she and i had a good time teasing him.
but then again, i got my own fair share of teasing that night over the story of how i met jeff. on the airplane. there was teasing about how he must have had a great pick up line, then i had to tell them that he met my family with red noses on and he still wanted my number. but then again, one of the uncles was telling me that i was just as pretty as i could be, everyone agreed and jeff blushed, then agreed.
carl, his favorite cousin, told me that i was, by far, the coolest girl that jeff has ever brought around.
then, later that night when all the cousins and jeff were pretty far gone, they started quoting Tombstone, and there i was, smiling cutely and they were all looking at me like i had no idea what was going on. Carl asked if i knew what was going on and i said "i would explain but... I think the strain would be more than he could bear..." complete with southern accent! they all laughed and then i got told that i was by far the awesomest girl, ever. then i got a high five and a hug. then Zack (the other cousin) kept asking jeff to make the eyes at him that he was using on me! lol
he kissed me, and held my hand, touched me, in front of everyone. i really like this guy. and his family was so nice to me too. he's already back in EP but calls and texts me. before he left he told me that he didn't want to leave and that he wished that i would be back in LC sooner. so do i. i really hope that this all goes somewhere... yay!
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
new years eve!
so i spent new years eve with a new guy and basically his entire family.
i'll write more tomorrow (hopefully) about it all.... but his entire family knew who i was, loved the story about how we met, told him that he must have had an awesome pick up line, and that i have great taste.
also, i was told how pretty i was and that he definitely wasn't getting the short end of the stick. jeff agreed. i do too lol!
met his mom, who told me about how she found out about me (which he tried to stop her from doing).
he's awesome. i had so much much much fun! and it was a great night. now time for bed and sleep!
i'll write more tomorrow (hopefully) about it all.... but his entire family knew who i was, loved the story about how we met, told him that he must have had an awesome pick up line, and that i have great taste.
also, i was told how pretty i was and that he definitely wasn't getting the short end of the stick. jeff agreed. i do too lol!
met his mom, who told me about how she found out about me (which he tried to stop her from doing).
he's awesome. i had so much much much fun! and it was a great night. now time for bed and sleep!
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
the wrecking ball
and hey, oh, the wrecking ball
looks at you from across the wall
and saunters in with a sloop and swallow
and ends with a horizontal edge
and there you lay amongst the sticks
but Earth, she wants to know you tricks
but once you've woke from that buzzed out blitz
and now you are her kin
i am in love with the song "Wrecking Ball" by Pepi Ginsberg. and "Pieces of String" by Alela Diane. and all of Marissa Nadler's songs. she's especially amazing.
looks at you from across the wall
and saunters in with a sloop and swallow
and ends with a horizontal edge
and there you lay amongst the sticks
but Earth, she wants to know you tricks
but once you've woke from that buzzed out blitz
and now you are her kin
i am in love with the song "Wrecking Ball" by Pepi Ginsberg. and "Pieces of String" by Alela Diane. and all of Marissa Nadler's songs. she's especially amazing.
Friday, December 21, 2007
so let me be cute and nerdy for a moment...
boy called me! well, he called me last night when i was sleeping so i didn't get to talk to him until today. blah. but he was out with family and so i suggested that he call me back later when he wasn't so busy and also because i didn't want to interfere with family time. what a nice person i am!
which brings me to the next point... me being nice. i guess, in the long run, that i am just to much of a nice person underneath. i'm willing to give people multiple chances, i bite my tongue and keep from saying exactly what i think in certain situations, and i'm nice to people's faces. thanks mom and dad for giving me such a kind heart. sometimes i just wish i could turn to people and say "____ you always cry about boys being mean to you. well, if you'd stop spreading your legs for them and fucking every boy who looks sideways at you, then maybe you might find a nice one. don't be such a slut." or "____ i don't care about how wonderful your boyfriend is sometimes. he told you that he loves another girl but stays with you. right. cause that is someone you need to be with." or just to tell people to stop being two-faced or when i say hello to people that they need to answer and at least acknowledge that i spoke. i swear, when i go back if i say hello to ______ and she doesn't say anything, i'm calling her out on it. i'm just gonna say "Hey _____. i said hello. you could at least act like you heard me, ok?"
whatever, i know i should just let it go but we aren't little kids in high/middle school anymore and the sooner those girls realize it, the sooner they can grow the hell up. that would be nice. really nice.
which brings me to the next point... me being nice. i guess, in the long run, that i am just to much of a nice person underneath. i'm willing to give people multiple chances, i bite my tongue and keep from saying exactly what i think in certain situations, and i'm nice to people's faces. thanks mom and dad for giving me such a kind heart. sometimes i just wish i could turn to people and say "____ you always cry about boys being mean to you. well, if you'd stop spreading your legs for them and fucking every boy who looks sideways at you, then maybe you might find a nice one. don't be such a slut." or "____ i don't care about how wonderful your boyfriend is sometimes. he told you that he loves another girl but stays with you. right. cause that is someone you need to be with." or just to tell people to stop being two-faced or when i say hello to people that they need to answer and at least acknowledge that i spoke. i swear, when i go back if i say hello to ______ and she doesn't say anything, i'm calling her out on it. i'm just gonna say "Hey _____. i said hello. you could at least act like you heard me, ok?"
whatever, i know i should just let it go but we aren't little kids in high/middle school anymore and the sooner those girls realize it, the sooner they can grow the hell up. that would be nice. really nice.
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