The Pirate's Gospel

I'll have you know, I'll have you know
That if I had one, I'd play this on piano
I'd sit it on my knee and count to
One, two, three
And if I had one of those other things, I'd put it in my mouth
And if I had some of those other things, you know, I'd put them into jars on the shelf
But I'll have you know, I'll have you know....
That if I had ten or twenty,
I'd have a choir of little children sing along
I'll have you know.... now she's pieces of string too small to use